I’d like to share a story that brings me joy.
This year, I have been working with a mother-son team.
The mom, a high-achieving self-made businesswoman, came to me because she was tired of the constant fights with her 18-year-old son, the tension, the frustration, and their inability to really connect.
She wanted to better understand her son’s rage and learn how to communicate more efficiently.
After working with her for a couple of weeks, the situation started to change. Over the next few months, she kept increasing her awareness, started listening more, and became able to identify triggers and old patterns that were the underlying cause of conflict.
She continuously made subtle yet important changes to her communication style and became less reactive.
She let go of wanting to control his every move, and he started to loosen up.
A good 6 months later, her son asked to work with me as well as he was curious to learn what his mom and I were doing.
The most rewarding moments as a coach are when a coachee has an aha moment during a session and asks for a moment to integrate.
Recently, while working with him, something magical happened: He finally linked many of the things we have worked on during the past 4 months and all of a sudden said:
“Seve!!! Now I get it… everything does begin and end with me!!”
He also came clean and stated:
“I think I enjoy making my mom angry…. but I realize that I do this to get her full attention. “
I feel so proud of my 19-year-old coachee as he has come a long way.
Both he and his mom are now able to recognize their triggers, better control and manage their emotions, own them, and take responsibility for their actions.
They are both communicating their needs and feelings in a clear and effective way, which has led to both of them understanding each other better and them being able to really work as a team.
They have come a very long way. And I am grateful to be a witness to that evolution.
My wish for you is that you too can #connect and #communicate with clarity with your #team at home, and at work, so you can all feel understood, supported, and at peace.
Happy holidays and a communicative 2023 to all!
#communication#change#love#lovemywork
credits: Image by AeroZakaz Аэрозаказ – Sculpture by Alexander Milov from Ukraine for Burning Man in 2015